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March 30th, 2009 Comments(21) |
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I should be in bed right now. My mind and body are drained from working so much and not getting any rest. After tomorrow i will have worked 43 hours in three days. Yea, so i’m tired lol..but anyway, I can’t sleep now. I just got off the phone with my mom and she’s in some safe house and can’t tell me where she is. I don’t think she realizes what kind of effect this has on me. I haven’t seen her since the night I picked her up when she was released from jail. Is that crazy or what? I just want to go to Maryland already and leave this behind me. The move is in October and there’s not a day that goes by that I don’t think about it.
March 19th, 2009 Comments(6) |
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Hey everyone…boy how time flies. I was just reading my last posting and its crazy how so much has changed since then. There’s been good times and bad..and unfortunately the bad is still linguering. Where do I start? Last you heard my car had broken down and I had no way to get to work and was staying at my mom’s so I could get back and forth to work. Well to make things worse my car was towed because the neighbors complained that it was abandoned. I got a ticket in the mail with a court date and about a week later I went to court and had to pay the ticket and the tow fees which killed me but what I did was just sign the title over to the police department because I don’t think it was worth taking out and putting even more money into it that I don’t have. So after that was taken of I got a new car which is great and I love it. Two days after I got the new car I got into an accident lol…one thing after another right? Well I finally went to court for that two days ago and got that all squared away. Funny story about that…right before I went to court I received a letter in the mail from someone who saw the show and inside the card was a hundred dollars. Talk about a miracle. I didn’t have any money for the court fees and ticket and everything came out to 90 dollars. It was God…really..it was. Well back to the story..so after the accident things were going ok..I’m looking into moving to Maryland next January..Costco is opening up a new depot over there and I’m looking to transfer as a supervisor. So I took a trip to Maryland about 2 weeks ago and I had a blast. It was just a lot of fun venturing out. My dad and sister came along for the ride and we spent the day out there. Then my little brothers birthday was last Saturday…he turned 17 and the day was ok..he was a little upset because my mom wasn’t there. She moved out and into a friends house…don’t ask me why but yea, so my dad moved in with the kids and now has custody. But anyway, I took my brother and his two friends and Angelica to this place called Funplex in East Hanover and it was a lot of fun..just enjoying eachothers company and having a good time. That night before I went home we get a call saying that my mom was in the hospital. Now keep in mind that I haven’t seen her for like 3 weeks because she moved and now lives about an hour away. The next morning I had work and it was her birthday. After work I couldn’t help but break down…I was so hurt because I knew she was in the hospital and it was her birthday..who wants to be in the hospital for there birthday? I spoke to her and just bauled for like 2 hours…I needed to get it out. The next time I spoke to her was Yesterday morning and she said she was out of the hospital. I asked her why she was in there and she said because she was raped. My heart stopped as I was walking my dog. I was in shock…no words came to my mind or mouth..I didn’t know what to say. I felt pain, confusion, and disbelief all at the same time. How could someone do this? To my mother! She’s been through so much and now this. I wanted to yell at her for putting herself in that situation but at the same time I needed to be sensitive because of the situation. She told me she was going to go get a gun and kill the person who did this to her. I was in a rage at this point and told her that if she did that she was going to end up in jail and that I would never see her again. She said goodbye and that she would see me later on that night and hung up. Then lastnight I was woken up at midnight by a phonecall. It was my older brother. As I’m half asleep the first words out of his mouth are, “Miracles, mom’s locked up.” I knew it. My nightmare was happening. This was real…I told him to come home because I couldn’t handle this over the phone. When he came home we talked for a bit and then went to sleep because I had work this morning. All day at work I had a knot in my stomach and tried making phone calls to the jail to find out the situation. I couldn’t find out why she was in there but only that the bail was 5 grand. After work I came home and about an hour ago I called the jail to find out when visiting hours were and they said that she was being released tonight on ROR which means Release on own recognizance. This means that she will not be required to post bail, but could still be ordered by the court to follow certain conditions of release. The officer told me she would tell her to call me once she is released. And now I’m sitting here waiting for a call. I feel helpless, alone, and worried all at the same. I don’t know what’s going on or what tomorrow has in store but all I can do is pray and hope for the best. I’m gonna go take a walk now to just talk to God and see what He has to say. I’ll update you as soon as I here more info. Thanks everyone for your prayers
<3 Miracles
February 02nd, 2009 Comments(5) |
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I’ve realized a lot of things today about myself that I guess I never really wanted to come to terms with. Like getting into a relationship for example. I can’t do it for the life of me and I finally see it now. I’ve been let down so much that i’ve put up this permanent guard that says ‘I don’t need anyone else but me’. I don’t know if I wrote about my car breaking down about a month ago but since then I’ve been using my dad’s van since to get back and forth to work. Thankfully he’s been using his girlfriend’s car to get to work (they live together so it works out) So today when I got out of work the car does’nt want to start. I got it jump started because I figured the battery was dead but on the way home it wanted to stall out so I called my dad and of course he doesn’t pick up the phone. Finally my mom picks up the phone and starts ‘bashing’ my dad saying how he’s never there and he needs to pick up the phone and buy a new battery. And as she’s talking i’m getting more and more frustrated because not only is it the truth but I hate hearing my parents talk bad about eachother. I finally get in touch with my dad and apparently he’s of no help. He tells me that its not his responsibility to take care of the car if I’m using it and he has no money to help me out. Thats when it hit me and I started getting even more upset. I’ve been there for everyone and not to throw it in their faces but I feel like when i’m in a rough situation everyone forgets about me and says ‘oh she’s on her own’. I’m finally home at this point and I turn the car off and tried to restart it. It wasn’t a surprise but the car didn’t start. At this point I just started crying out of frustration and walked into the house trying to think of a plan to get to work now with no car. Keep in mind I work about 35-40 minutes from where I live. So public transportation is out of the question because I work in the middle no where. My dad called me again and he’s all like, ‘it’s probably the alternator (thats a $300 job) you don’t have any money to get it fixed?’ I’m thinking to myself, ‘NO I DON’T HAVE ANY MONEY! I lent you 200 dollars and my older brother 120 the day before yesterday to make a payment to a loan thats in my name so in essence it was to save my behind because it’s my credit being risked if the payment wasn’t made on time!’ So now i’m broker than broke with no car and way to get to work to make more money. So here’s the plan…mom says she’ll take me to work in the morning and dad will drop me at her house tonight. But that means i’ll have to stay at her place until I find a car or the money to get a car in order to get to work. Do you feel the frustration? lol At this point i’m fed up and I tell my dad to pick me up at 8 and bring me to my mom’s. I’m taking Clyde because I refuse to leave him home with my older brother not knowing whether he’s being taken care of or not. You have no clue how much better I feel after writing this. This is honestly my way of venting and relieving stress. You are the only ppl who hear this. Thanks for listening and hopefully things look up soon. Stay strong no matter what. With a positive mind and attitude, things are bound to turn around. That’s how I see it.
Miracles <3
January 23rd, 2009 Comments(0) |
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It’s almost 2am but thank God i’m off tomorrow because i’ve been trying to fall asleep for the past two hours and im watching my niece and she won’t stop crying. Hopefully she’ll stop soon =] Goodnight
January 21st, 2009 Comments(2) |
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The previous post was for yesterday the 20th lol i’m writing this one for today =] Today was much better then yesterday. I woke up around 12 and ate lunch and just relaxed for the most part until 3. I planned on going to mom’s house today to talk to her about the Dr.s results and stuff but things changed and I forgot I got 2 tickets to see Disney on Ice at 7 tonight. I felt so bad about cancelling on her but we spoke on the phone about a couple things and how Angelica isn’t in school right now because she’s being so stubborn and giving mom a hard time. I pray that this is just a stage. My mom is waiting on a response from a school in PA that children go to and stay there while in school. Its called the Milton Hershey School if you want to look it up but yea, so Angelica isn’t in school right now so I offered for her to stay at my place to give mom a break cuz she’s been weak due to the cancer. Then we got into talking about what the Dr said and she recommended my mom start chemo (if that’s how you spell it) because the cancer is spreading. It was hard to ask my mom this question but I wanted to know so I asked her if the Dr. told her how long she had left and my mom kind of choked up and said yea, they told her one year. I pray that she has soooo much longer..I want her to watch Angelica and Zeke grow up and watch me have kids and a family and watch her granddaughter Alexia grow up. There are so many things left I want her to be there for. I know God has His master plan so let’s hope for the best.
January 21st, 2009 Comments(2) |
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hey everyone..so today was a little frustrating for me. It started off good by going to work and training in a new area for my new position. I think i posted on here that I got a promotion and am now full time which is great because now i’m guaranteed 40 hours a week. After work I got home and walked into my room to find the cord to my new tv that I got for xmas broken and my sisters ipod chewed up along with a couple of other small things, yea, you guessed it, the dogs got in my room. I was so upset that I just started crying because I honestly don’t have the money to replace these things so that was frustrating. And the day before, my phone charger exploded when i plugged it into the wall so I couldn’t charge it. To top things off when I was on my way home from work yesterday my dad’s car ran out of gas and my phone was dead because I wasnt able to charge it. Thank God, I was able to text my dad telling him I was stranded before my phone died completely on me. After I cleaned up what the dog’s did I got a text from my mom saying she got news from the Dr. and it wasnt good news. So yea, it was kinda a rough day but tomorrows a new one and i’m off! So i’ll be able to get some rest and hoefully get some things done.
January 08th, 2009 Comments(12) |
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Heyyyy wow…comcast is not cool…i’ve been trying to get internet up for months now and i still don’t have it. But anyway, things are great, the baby is growing so fast! She started smiling and laughing at things..its the cutest thing ever! On another note, I got a promotion at work today! I was sooo happy =) Its kind of difficult to explain the job description but its a lot of computer work and auditing. Its a full time position which is an answer to prayers because starting monday all of the part-timers hours were being cut to 30 hours a week. Thankfully, i’m officially a full-timer on Monday when i sign the paperwork!! =) Other than that, things are good. Kind of a shocker and scary but mom was diagnosed with cancer about a month ago. That was probably one of the hardest weeks in my life. I was pretty upset but i’m good now….i know she’ll be fine. She’s a warrior! Just keep her in prayer that would help tons. Thanks so much <3 Miracles
November 06th, 2008 Comments(2) |
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So i’m sitting in my sister in law’s house alone doing laundry for about 4 hours now lol and I went outside and just looked at the sky and thought to myself…what can I do to change this world? I’m going to start a corporation called ‘Miracles Saves’ which will help familes out in difficult situations. Eventually I want to have my own home for children with no parents. Or just children that have nowhere to go. So I’m going to open up a bank account and put $50 of every paycheck into that and eventually fulfill this. I dont know why but that’s what I’m going to do…just had to get that off my chest. <3 Miracles
November 06th, 2008 Comments(1) |
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K so its been a couple of days since my last post…I’m working on getting internet at my new apartment this weekend so hopefully that goes through quickly. As for what has been going on in my life the past week its been crazy but so much fun. After my post the 25th the baby was born October 28th. The night before which was a Monday, Cristina had a Dr’s appointment and right after the appointment they brought her into the hospital to be induced later that night. Her sister Grace was visiting from Georgia so Grace was at the hospital and later on after work I came by with my brother and mom. Jose stood the night and the next morning at 6 am she was getting ready to give birth so Grace and I ran to hospital and the baby was born at 6:33 am weighing 7 pounds 11 ounces and 20 and a half inches long. She is sooo cute and she’s growing so fast. She fell asleep with me last night…cutest thing ever. Mom is extatic to be a grandmother and you could imagine Zeke and Angelica. Other than the whole family thing, work is going great. I’m learning a lot and my manager actually came up to me today and let me know that there is a full time position opening up..its an office job! I’m going to write my letter of interest tonight and see how that goes. With the holiday season right around the corner I’m going to be working a wholeeee lot…we had a staff meeting today letting us know that we’ll be working 6 days a week 9 hours a day mandatory, crazy but the paycheck will be good lol. K i’m gonna grab some dinner and update you as to whats going on as soon as my internet is up! <3 Miracles
October 25th, 2008 Comments(0) |
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heyy everyone, sry its been a couple of days from my last post but i havent had access to a computer which sucks. But anyway, as to update you i’m currently at a friends house in ny. I had off today so i figured i’d come out here and relax for a bit. My sister still hasn’t had the baby..dr’s said if the baby is not born by wednesday then their going to induce her wednesday morning. Other then that news i’ve just been working as usual..actually this week I go in at 5:30 because the guy who runs the show for my building at work is on vacation so i’ll be pretty much running things from the gaurdshack. The family is good, the kids are on a youth retreat with my youth group for the weekend, I wanted to go but i couldnt get off of work =[ Next year definitely though. My car is on the verge of dieing so please pray that somehow someway God make it possible for me to either afford a car or come into some amazing deal. K, i’ve gotta get ready to hop on the train back to jersey. Be back soon to update…God Bless <3 Miracles
